Opening Up

For a while now I have been picking up TT and CC (twins) for ILA every Sunday and it has been a struggle for me to connect with the girls on any sort of personal level. It is awfully awkward in the car on the way to and from ILA and it’s a great desire of mine to connect on a level where the students I come in contact with feel comfortable with me. Though we may have not gone through the same life experiences, I know that in many ways the trials God has walked through with me were not suffered in vain and that I get to share those with teenagers.

On my way to pick up the twins I began praying asking God to open up doors to share and discuss with the girls. I was not asking for anything specific to talk about; just to talk and get to know the girls. As I was almost to their house I could feel myself getting a bit nervous wondering if they were going to talk or if it was going to be another awkward car ride. I knew that I just needed to lay everything in the Lords hands and just trust him.

I pulled up to their home and waited in the car for a few minutes. Finally, I saw TT walk out of the house first and I noticed that she was holding something in her hand, something blue. I was wondering what it was, but then again I thought it was probably just her devotional folder. Both girls got into the car and we exchanged hellos and I asked them about their weekends and we talked about the three snow days that they had last week. Then the silence came, but I was not about to settle for a long silence so I asked TT (who was sitting in the front with me) what the blue notebook was. She told me it was her notebook of poems, which she was bringing to share with the writing team tonight. Freely she shared that the poem she was planning to share that night about self esteem. I asked her if she liked to write often and she said that she really did. I was so impressed with how open she became and how much and fast she began to talk about her passion to write.

I was hooked on asking her more questions, I wanted to keep this going as long as possible! We began to talk about the poem she was sharing tonight and how it was about self esteem. She shared with me that she does not like the way she looks. I was just gasping and so quickly began to tell her how beautiful she was as I was thinking to myself “how can she think this?” I asked her why she did not like the way that she looked and after a bit of hesitation she shared that “it is basically my head that I don’t like.” She said that she does not like her teeth, and said that she will soon be getting braces. I was giddy as I shared that she was lucky that she was able to get braces so young, because I had to wear them in college and I remember how embarrassed I was! Then she shared that she did not like her hair and I asked why and she said because it is too thin, well there you go another thing we had in common. I asked her if it was hard to think about liking herself when it is so apparent these days that looking good is very important to this world. She didn’t seem to think that was case and I just know that being a teenager can bring about a lot of those thoughts of not liking yourself. I was then very privileged to talk to TT about what God thinks about her and how beautiful God knew she was going to be when he created her just the way she is. I was so thrilled to talk to her about these important things and I told her I could not wait to hear her poem. Our conversation stopped when we arrived at the church and I was hoping that would not be the end of it!

After ILA was over and we were walking to the car I asked TT how it went reading her poem to the writing team, she shared that she did not read it out loud but typed it up on the computer. She told me that the writing team is thinking of putting a book together of all their poems and short stories. I was just so excited to talk to her again and especially about something I knew she loved.

Earlier in the evening on the car ride to ILA TT told me that she does not ever let anyone read her poems she only reads them because she thinks that someone might not understand what she is writing about. Well to my sweet surprise TT turned to me and said “you can probably read it if you want.” I felt honored and told her that I would love to hear it but she would have to read it to me because I would be driving. While on the way home TT read her poem to me and it was beautiful, she is really a talented writer. I can see the buds of a relationship beginning and it really makes me excited!